- 11:31 AM I think perhaps I've been a little confused as of late
I've been thinking, The Youkai, is not a part of me
That she is merely another person sharing my head.
How could I have forgotten? She is me.
If I continue to separate myself from Maten, what is next?
Will I begin denying all of this?
will i just become the character of a story?
NO.
She is me. Even if now I am no longer in Maten, I am no longer a fighter for Oni Star, it doesn't change who I am, does it?
Am I merely human now?
I lost my powers when I was banished, but now, am I losing myself?

and the new appearance of you, Kemuri.
what does this mean?
Somehow we've become a team.
Yet, I know nothing about you.

I can't let this get out of hand.

- 3:53 AM I know it was my fault
Self-destructive little whore
I've been acting like the victim,
But its not like you didn't warn
Like I didn't know what I was doing
To myself, and to us

I wanted to just beg you
Just wait, a little more time
I won't hurt you any longer
I know what's on the line
Now I act like it was unjustified
The truth is, I know exactly why

I know I was lying, and I know it wasn't fair
I was sad and I was changing
And I wanted someone there
I Loved You, I swear to you I did
But I couldn't stop myself
I just couldn't find the strength

But realizing it was I,
The one who never tried
Doesn't stop the hurt,
Or the asking of why
It doesn't stop the feelings I wish I could have shown
But I want you to hear, I want to make this known

I never meant to hurt you
That, I never meant to do
I only wanted you with me
I only wanted you
You promised me, and I promised you
But promises were broken

And so,
We were too.

- 3:53 AM She is always here.
By my side.
Moreso than you, Drayc, it is her.
The Youkai.
She is always here with me, no matter what. And yet I can tell no one of her.
No one would understand.
But after all, she is the one who underwent the greatest pain.
She is the one you betrayed, Drayc.
And me?
I am her at her weakest.
In human form.
pleading at you and wondering why you left...
leaving her to comfort me, her, who felt the pain worse than I...
and yet, still has the strength to comfort me
I wish I could tell people of her.
Like, how, Sister has Mai.
Sister would understand but...how do you just tell these sorts of things to people?
I'm glad for her to be there.
Are you getting jealous now, Drayc?
Just because she's there all the time? Because you're not?
Don't be jealous of things caused by your own actions.
but I am her at her weakest.
and so, I am always doomed to wonder "why?"

- 9:21 PM Don't tell me
That, you're all I'll ever have
That I'll never have more than just you
Or your memory
Whatever it is
I don't want that
I want something more

But are you the only one who will ever be there?

- 6:19 PM Drayc...somehow I feel like
You're still here.
You don't talk, and its true, you left...
But sometimes, I feel like you're still here.
I...don't really mind if you don't talk.
Somehow, it feels peaceful, knowing you're here.

- 3:12 PM When I feel like I'm lost
Something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

---

Drayc, I know I like to act like I hate you.
Like I'm angry.
But...no.
It hurt, and, to tell the truth, I am a little mad.
But, I will never hate you.
You...were there for me, with me,
even if only for a little while, and
I've come to regard that as something special.

Those times were sad for me
They hurt
But now, I think...
I look back at them with fondness.

Maten may be the only place I really belong.
But we both know I can't return.
And I know
you aren't coming back.

I'll hold onto my memories.

(did you know, part of me still wants you to come back...?)

- 12:40 PM Why does it feel like the world will soon end
What was that sudden moment of heartbreaking sadness.
Not even able to be described.
Why for that one single moment, was all hope lost?
Why did I feel like just giving up, just dying?
Why was the pain so great.

a flash of heartbreak there and gone in moments,
yet wreaking more destruction
than any war.

draining the hope from tired eyes

then leaving
and making them wonder
"Why...?"

- 3:50 AM It hurts so much
I shouldn't care after what you did, but,
I do.
When I think of us together, and, not, anymore....it hurts
and I can't help it.
part of me is saying "if it wasn't for him, we could be together again"
but no.
That's only part of me. That doesn't know better.
Getting pulled into your game again
No
not something I can do
but it still hurts

I never wanted you to go.
I wanted to be with you forever this time...

why did you have to change
why did you have to leave?

- 6:48 PM Its true that I couldn't help thinking maybe
Maybe I just wanted a tragedy.
It doesn't matter now, because its really over between us.
There'll be no more maybes

Maybe, that's alright
That its over...
its finally over...

I wish it never ended in the firstplace
but since it did...
then, its better like this.

I'm sorry for bothering You

but will there ever be anyone else like You?
I hope...

I hope someone will want me.

- 2:55 PM Dear Sister
Things are normal now
We act like nothing ever happened
You can act...
Please act,
I don't wanna go back to that again
No, I just don't wanna go back
I can't take what once was
Glad it is no longer
Dreading those days
And I'll never escape it
Never escape the pain
Dear Sister
Maybe I don't want to face it
Maybe I just don't want you to know
Maybe part of me
Just won't give it up
I lock it all inside
I want to hide it all from you
Dear Sister
Never know the pain you've caused me

Dear Sister
I never want to go back.

- 2:44 PM

I can't tell you my reasoning
you'll find it petty
But these scars are real to me. And it hurts too much to think of that again.
Especially now.
Sister, forgive me.
Maybe I'll tell you one day
I hope you'll understand.

- 8:42 PM What is it...
Some people might say, its undesirable. An urge to keep someone for yourself, as if, you think of them like a possession.
But...I don't think, in a lot of cases, its wanting to keep someone...but, being afraid to lose them. Its not wanting to control somebody...but instead, hoping that their feelings for you will be strong enough to make them control themselves. And maybe being afraid that they aren't.
I propose, that perhaps jealousy should not be seen as a bad trait, but, more of a way to show someone cares. By acting jealous, they're showing how important you are to them. That they don't want to lose you.

- 4:58 PM

One could say...all the pain I feel, all my scars
they're my own fault
One could say I made them up. That its all in my head
It wasn't...I know how real it was. But will anyone else see that...?
won't they just say I'm whining. That I want to feel tragic?
All that I Loved, and all that I lost, and all that I knew, was real. That world was real. He was real. I was real.
Why won't anyone understand...?
Have we come much too far in this world, to believe in things like that?
Maybe one day I'll tell Her.
bearing this alone, because no one will understand...
Sometimes, I'm amazed with how much I actually miss it. I remember back then, how I felt. I can remember the tears. The words I said. That was real. It was real, the way I felt.
It hurts that my life may just be pushed aside by others, as "just my imagination".

it was real, the way I felt.

- 4:17 AM I don't understand it
You're everything to me
Everything I ever wanted, is You
i can't understand why we have to be kept apart. i don't understand why You can't...just settle for Love.
it doesn't have to be forever, but just for now, can't our Love be strong enough to bridge the gap...?
Why.Can't.You.Love.Me.

- 8:24 PM Drayc, this better not be your doing
I swear, if I find you're doing this,
Regardless of the boundaries, I'll come to Maten myself and kill you.

- 5:03 PM

Phase one of plan complete

But what makes her so special?
What makes her better than me to You?
Is it only that she's closer?

If only I could secure my place in Your heart

I need to win Your heart
That's when my plan will be complete.

- 7:59 AM

Don't tell me I was right
Don't tell me I only confused You
That wasn't what I wanted, I swear
I only wanted You
and I still do
I need to say something
Have You not noticed? I've been obvious
at least, I think I have
[Lets take back the past]
{lets have it envelope the present and the future}
{{every dimension and every world}}

forever.