- 3:57 PM When I tried to get back into Maten, I asked one of my friends there to meet me on the other side to help me out. I don't know whether he got my message or not, but if he did, it means he might be in trouble. I'm worried about it.
What if she kicked him out too?

I decided I'm not going to try to get them back. There's a chance that it could just make things so much worse and I don't want to risk it. I was greedy, I didn't really need to go back, I just wanted to show her that I could. And I lost them because of that. Fighting back now will only make her angrier.

- 6:36 PM Its becoming more and more clear to me, especially now that we can't see eachother so often. Before it might have scared me but now...now it just instills in me a quiet sadness, a muted worry that I know could be a threat but pray it will not.
I have changed.
Yes, it is like nothing I have ever felt before and yes that is good but...
I used to be able to take care of myself. To comfort myself. When I had no one to turn to I always offered myself solace but now...it can't compete. Not with that feeling.
It is a good thing and it makes me happy but I can still dread possibilities.
If I fuck this up I will never be able to go back to the way I was before. I'll never be able to forget it. I won't be able to make myself better.
And I know it isn't going to happen but that doesn't mean its not there in the back of my mind. Just a reminder.
This could be dangerous. But I'm willing to risk it.

- 10:31 AM It felt different than anything I've ever felt before, or even consciously dreamed of feeling. But somehow it was perfect. Like I've been searching for something for so long, without even knowing what it was.
Yet its still not concrete. It was everything in a way that is not so obvious. Something others probably could never understand. I can hardly comprehend it myself, which is ok, but puts me in awe of it.
And as we lay there, holding eachother, all I could think was "How could I even dream of dying, of leaving her? How could I have ever thought it didn't matter?" feeling your arms around me and your skin on mine was just what I needed to bring me back to reality. I never wanted to be apart from you. I fell asleep against you and when I woke up you were still there. This is real, isn't it?

- 1:27 PM After having them not be here for a while I've started to realize what was me and what was them.
And I've come to realize that a lot of my flaws that I had attributed to them were in fact all mine. They were probably more pronounced because of them but they still originated from me. If I'm a bad person I can't blame it on them anymore. And I don't like that.
And all these things that I thought they felt, it turns out I've been feeling them too...but how do I deal with these things without them to help? I don't know how to. Its hard.
I've got to do this all by myself.
But yes, I've finally realized that I'm not alone.
At least I have you.
And I'm doing a lot better than before.
I can't give up and I can't lose sight of the truth, even if that might be hard sometimes. I can do this, and I've got you to help me.
I need to keep hope.

- 12:51 PM I'm going to be ok.

<3

- 2:10 PM I'll be ok
As long as I don't forget that I've got you

Maybe, I'm not alone

- 5:44 PM i was going to say something
but i can't

i can't tell you

- 5:36 PM No, i'm alone.

- 4:36 PM I want to go back, and, I guess I could try but...
I'm almost certain Demona will find out, which will piss her off even more. Normally I'd risk it anyway but she does have a certain amount of power in this world, and I don't want anything bad happening.
I could try to not have her find out, but since all inter-dimensional stuff is controlled by OniStar, and it all ends up within the building, that will be hard.

I just miss it a little, that's all.
It'll probly pass.

*rambling here so as not to annoy you*

- 4:31 PM

Threatening Grey may have been a good thing?
Youkai's snapped out of it, she's back.
Because, she's always been protective of Grey (Though, violent towards her as well)
Since she's on Himmel's side now though, she's kinda knocking some sense into me whenever Grey freaks out.

also, Himmel got angry today...not a normal thing...

- 7:52 AM Races are somewhat harder to talk about, because there's really no words for the different races. People are mostly recognized by the place they would have originally come from (Westerners, Southerners, etc). Because different races came from different areas.
But I'll try to explain them as best as I can.

Northerners -
There's two basic types of people from the North. The Durga (Named after their leader, Adera Durga) are the first type. They're somewhat like Centaurs, however their body doesn't have to be a horse, it can be almost any type of animal (to a larger scale of course). Hooved creatures are more common but there are also many rodent-type ones. Their humanoid bodies though are very muscular, even the women, and the males have horns of varying sizes. They're very strong, because they kind of have to be to live in the Northern Mountains. They live primarily inside caves in the sides of the mountains, with only slight outside settlements, mostly for hunting and water-gathering. They're mostly carnivorous, but they'll eat plants if they have to. They follow their leader, who is not quite a king, as that's not really allowed under the laws of Maten. Adera hasn't been the leader for a very long time, his father and the previous ruler, Venara, died after becoming infected with the water (along with many of his followers). I'll talk about that later though.
The other type are believed to have descended from the Durga, though they don't really have a name for themselves. They look like a mix between large humanoid rats and lizards. Fur and scale colours are variable. They live primarily in the vallies, in villages made in the canopies of trees, with boardwalks connecting different huts and such, and inside of the trunks of larger trees. They don't have a ruler and kind of all work together in a union to gather food and water. They eat mostly seeds, nuts, eggs and whatever meat they can catch in the trees. They rarely come down because they're reclusive and also because there's a slight rivalry between them and the Durga, but nothing too serious.

Easterners -
I'm explaining this next because they're somewhat related to the Northern people. The people who lived in the ruins before they were ruins were Winnows. Pretty much the only winged race in Maten. They had a city of their own because they were rather intelligent people. They had rather wide wingspans, and white feathers on their wings. Their buildings were tall because they liked to be near the sky, as they had a special relationship with the wind. Their hair was pretty much all different shades of brown, same for their eyes, though they could sometimes be black as well. They dressed in bright colours and lots of gold as well. However, when Venara Durga and his people went mad, he ordered them to attack the East. For no particular reason. Because the Winnows weren't very strong (they had to be aerodynamic in order to fly), they were easily beaten and their city destroyed, hence how the ruins were formed. There's very few of them left, and they've spread away from the East because it brings back bad memories to them.
Also in the East are people related to the Winnows, called Dallows. They're also known as the King's People, because The King is one of them. They live inside the Eastern Mountains and rarely come out unless they're in OniStar or if they're merchants. They've got smooth black skin (like, black black), with small white markings near their eyes. Their eyes are completely black except for the iris, which is white, and the males gain a white + in their pupils when they reach a certain age. They've also got wings, though their feathers are black. The females have smaller wings that are pretty much useless, and the males have very large ones. Their homes inside the mountains go very deep, down to underground caverns and lakes. Even though they live underground they're only moderately good at seeing in the dark, however they have a certain control over light and can capture it into concentrated forms, which they hang around their caves and tunnels. Their hair can be any colour, though black and silver are the most common. They were not affected by Venara's attack because they were too deep into the mountain. There is supposedly a lot of them, though hardly anyone else is allowed into their mountains.
Closer to Central East, there's a small village that I suppose I should tell about. Its inhabited by common demons (they don't really have a name there, but that's all I can describe them as so that maybe you'll know what I'm talking about?). They're descended slightly from the Winnow, and so their children are born with wings. Around the time the child is ten, they moult their feathers and the wings eventually shrivel up and fall off. However, every thousand years or so, one child's wings regrow their feathers instead of disappearing, and that child is taken and trained to become The King's personal servant. They are sort of like a "chosen one".

Southerners -
Since there's more people here there's different types. The 'common demon' originated from the South, as did the "combat demon" (the same as commons, though more agressive). Their skin colours range from greyish to dark browns, with different stages of tans in betweeen. Some have facial markings and some don't. Eyes and hair are also variable. In the Southeast there are Deerlike people, with horns or antlers, large deerlike ears, large black eyes, and deerlike tails. Some also have spikes like those of a hedgehog around the base of their neck and going down their back. They live near the bases of the mountains in the mixed forests. In the middle of the East though, along with common and combat demons, there are catlike people...humanoid, almost like the common demons although their ears are catlike, and they've got tails, and claws. A few of them are very proud and look down on people of other races, but are not violent towards them. The cat types can have varying hair colours but eye colours are limited to yellows, greens, blues, and greys. In the Southwest, there are the Oni people, their skin is usually blue, green, pink or red in varying shades, they've got horns of varying sizes and ruffs of white fur going from their heads, down their necks, across their shoulders and halfway down their backs/chests. They're one of the largest races, and males are even larger and more muscular. Females are muscular but more slender than males and also have tails. Their teeth are large and very sharp. They've also got large claws on both their hands and their feet. Their eye colour usually corresponds to their skin colour. They're mostly omnivores, they'll eat whatever they can catch, usually they don't eat other humanoid species though.
Underground, with the underground lakes, live the Kappah. They live in the water, and can breathe in it, however they also go onto land occasinally and live mostly in damp underground caves, so they're amphibious. They've got large eyes that are usually black, or dark blue-green. Their skin ranges from white to different shades of blue and green. It feels kind of like a frog's, and they've got speckley markings on their backs that can sometimes have reds and oranges mixed in. They've got gills on their necks and ribs so they can breathe underwater. Their toes and feet are webbed, and they've got long tails to help them steer while swimming. They've also got fins around their cheeks, wrists, ankles, and along their backs. Some shave their hair short and others leave it long but slicked back against their heads. Its usually black or dark shades of blue and green. They rarely come above ground because water is harder to find up there. If they're out of water or in heat too long they will eventually dry out and die. They eat mostly underwater plants and animals, but they're capable of eating other types of food if they have to.

Westerners -
The only natives to the West are the Fuera. They're simillar to common demons except they've got longer ears, markings (like you saw on Kimoura), and their eyes. As well as their "powers". Their hair is usually shades of brown or red. Their markings are variable, some can have more than others and they can be in different patterns. Like I said, the Fuera worship a fire God, who they believe gave them the power over fire that they have. They can cause fire to form from their markings, and most of them are trained from a young age to then use that fire as an art form, a kind of dance that doubles as a fighting technique that they perform to 'honour the God'. They believe if they make him happy he will keep the climate in the West regular. So most of the Fuera know how to fight. However they're peaceful for the most part, and eat mostly farmed plants and small animals.

Of course there's also mixed breeds of the different types, because they do breed interracially.
People are also recognized by their accents and the languages that they speak (other than the Common Language).
There's not many inter-species wars, other than the one that happened between the Durga and the Winnow. OniStar has done a good job at keeping the people united that way, so that they'll just see eachother as fellow Darks, so they can fight against the Lights.

- 6:09 AM

I don't exactly know where to start, so I guess I'll start with the different places that there is...
There's really only one real "city" in Maten, which is Maten City...its surrounded by a wall because regular people don't really live there and its very complicated for them to get clearance to come in. The purpose of Maten City is to house the souls of the dead until their afterlives. See, it doesn't happen right away, so when people die (in Maten, or here, or in a few other worlds), their spirits go there, where lots of paperwork has to be done in order to get them into their proper afterlives (based on their religions/beliefs/behavior/etc). So, most of the people in Maten City are in fact spirits (which is why its pretty much the only place you can find humans in Maten). Maten isn't very modern, so there's no electricity...everything's either steam powered or lit up with oil or other burnable things. Maten City is pretty huge, and in the middle of it is the OniStar building...which is where they sort through the paperwork, and also where they train the soldiers. The main tower of it is insanely tall, and covered with white one-way mirror glass.
Since it already takes them a long time to sort through all the paperwork (constantly backlogged), they don't really like people who commit suicide, as, that's an unplanned death (everyone's got a certain thing that's sposed to kill them, killing themselves stops that from happening), and so all of a sudden they have to deal with something that they shouldn't have for a while. SO, what they do with those spirits is...they kinda string them to ropes along the sides of the main tower. They keep them there until the day they were SUPPOSED to die, and then they let them down and start actually processing their files. So its not very fun :/
Um, since I already rambled a million years of that, and did much more than just explain the place, I will move on ^^'

Most places don't really have commonly known names (like, the villages might, but they're really only known to the people around those areas). The regions are divided into North, East, South, West, with Maten City in the centre.

I explained the North a little bit in that story I was writing. The far North is very mountainous, with rocky mountains...not many plants grow up on the mountains themselves, but there are some flat areas at lower altitudes on the mountains where things like pine trees grow (They're called something else there, but I can't remember the language). It's very dark there most of the time...not pitch black but dim at best, and the sky is usually darkish grey-blue. It rains a lot, which is good because the mountain rock poisons the water. In the vallies between the mountains there's even more pine forests, which are very thick without many clearings. It's pretty dark inside them, but near some of the more populated areas there's torches out which light up the places.
As it goes down towards Maten City, the land flattens out, mostly to grassy hills and eventually to plains. This also means the water gets cleaner closer to the centre cause there's none of the mountain rock to contaminate it. The water's only dangerous if you drink it, but plants and animals (well, animals who are immune to its poisonous effects) purify it (so if you eat things grown with the water or eat an animal who drank it, you won't get sick). The sky also gets lighter towards the centre too.

The West is very dusty...its very warm there but only slightly humid. Its not a desert, most of it is covered in forest (leafy trees, not pine-like), which gets its water source from huge underground lakes. The underground lakes stretch all the way down to the South, but, I'll get to that later. Above ground the biggest body of water there is are small ponds. Around most of the populated areas, torches burn contantly. Because, most of the people in that area worship a fire God, and also have fire-type abilities. They're Kimoura and Oura's people...I called them the Fuera cause that's the name of their religion, but I'll explain races and such later. Most of the original Western people make their villages in clearings, not in the forests, so that there won't be so much risk of setting them on fire. The sky is also light there, except for at night time of course. Its a little bit cooler at night than it is during the day. The forests have very little ground cover (like little bushes and things) because the soil is so sandy. So mostly its just made up of the trees. The forests reach all the way to the walls of Maten City without thinning, but at they move up the the North they kind of fade out because its too cold for them.

As they go South though, the forests get thicker and there's more variety in the types of tree, and there's more groundcover. Almost like a rainforest but not as humid. Its very cool around there because of all the trees, but a comfortable cool, not cold. The sky's light in the South too, and if you're out in the open its warm, but not unbearably so. Its the most populated area, though there's only a few large villages and settlements because they don't want to destroy the forests. There's a lot of water there, with beaches surrounding huge lakes...there's no oceans, because everything is fresh water, but the lakes are pretty big. The underground lakes from the West are connected to them. The forests stay thick all the way up to Maten City's Southern wall, but kinda spread out more as they reach the East, and pine-like trees become mixed in.

There used to be a large city in the East, that I can't remember the name of because it was destroyed a long time before I came there. The ruins of that city are pretty much abandoned, because most people think its bad luck to live there. Some people still do though, but not very out in the open. Now that I think about it, that's a security hazard, but whatever...The sky there usually is an orangey yellow colour when its not night time. Its warm and dusty as well, and not many plants grow around the ruins. But once outside the city limits, there's mixed forests that are somewhat thick. South-East of the ruins, the Eastern Mountains start, they're rocky but less harsh and made out of a different rock than the Northern ones. The East kind of has a strange feel because the Ruins are somewhat "haunted", though not with actual spirits, just with negative energy from all the killing that went on there. Not many people live close to them but there's more villages farther away. A lot of people also live inside the mountains too, including The King. I've never actually seen the The King, because he's kept under heavy security to protect him from the Lights. They keep him in his hidden palace within the Eastern Mountains. North-East of the Ruins the Northern Mountains ease down, so it gets a little colder.

I might've left some stuff out, but that's all I can think of for geography for now...I'll ramble about other things separately, so you don't get bored. Also, it doesn't snow anywhere in Maten, and there are no deserts.