Saturday, December 08, 2007
- 11:43 AM
Mostly, I am just afraid of how afraid I am.
How did this happen?
I just remember wishing you were there.
I mean, I was supposed to be blacked out but all I could do was think
I'm always thinking
why can't it just shut up for once?
Starting to feel sick, ok, breathe. Stomach hurts, probly just hungry.
Feel sick, probably just hungry, it'll go away.
Shaking, check skin for dehydration.
Can anyone see me?
Vision going dark - alright, just like if I stand up too fast. Its fine, it'll go away.
Can't see anything, I should probly get outta here.
Falling, oh well, can't stop it now.
I'm down - Don't move, then you won't have to explain yourself. Just keep your eyes closed.
She's going to worry about me.
What if I don't wake up? How will she know?
Oh, they're calling for me. Guess I can't pretend anymore.
Open eyes.
I said it was embarrassing but not really.
I didn't feel anything.
All I do is think. I think its embarrassing but I don't feel embarrassed.
But I don't want to go back, they'll ask me about it.
They'll ask me if I'm alright, not because they care, but because they'd like to be polite. All they're doing is causing me trouble, not making me feel wanted.
None of this means anything to me at all.
Why do I have to be here?
All I want is what matters.